Preparation
- (Big) Moderation cards & whiteboard
- Make sure the statements you find below are visible for everyone during the steps 2 – 4 (e.g. flipchart, online document)
- Organize a rectangular room with enough space for all team members. On the opposite sides of the room, there should be space to place four Post-Its on the wall. These Post-Its represent the four anchors of the scale “completely disagree”, “rather disagree”, “rather agree” and “completely agree”.
Remote: You have the possibility to run the workshop remotely by having an online whiteboard at your disposal on which you can draw a line with the four achors. The people can write notes with their name and move them for each question to the right place.
Check-In (3 minutes)
- Welcome the team and introduce the workshop.
- Explain the structure of the workshop.
- Goal: The goal of this workshop is to become aware of our own conflict behavior.
Step 1 (12 minutes)
- Read the statementes from the three categories “dealing with conflicts”, “reasoning in conflicts” and “dealing with discussion partners” one after another.
- For each question, let the team members position themselves in the room along the four point scale from “completely agree”, “rather agree”, “rather disagree” and “completely disagree”. When positioning themselves, everyone should think about their usual behavior in conflicts.
- After each question, make a little pause and encourage the team members to reflect their position for a moment.
Statements
Dealing with Conflicts
- Differences of opinion and conflicts are part of life. I try to see the positive side (e.g. I learn from mistakes, a good solution was found).
- I try to avoid conflicts at an early stage.
- I try to solve conflicts consciously and actively (especially when they lead to a loss of performance or burden me / the conflict partner).
- I try to prevent conflicts at an early stage.
Reasoning in Conflicts
- I use mostly “I messages” and don’t blame the person I am talking to.
- I make the decision criteria transparent.
- I offer alternatives.
- I name my own part in the conflict.
- I flexibly adapt my personal conflict behavior (e.g. giving in, finding a compromise or a consensus) to the situation.
Dealing with Discussion Partners
- I include my counterpart in the decision finding.
- I respect the opinion / point of view of my counterpart.
- I try to understand the point of view of my counterpart.
- I ask my counterpart if they can understand my point of view.
Step 2 (5 minutes)
- Now divide the team into groups of 3-4 people. (If you are a small team of max. 5 people, this is not necessary.)
- In each group the team members should now take 5 minutes to reflect on the questions together. What surprised them about their own position at the questions. Did they recognize an interesting pattern of the whole group?
Step 3 (20 minutes)
- Next each group member has to select one statement, which they think is especially hard to perform for themselves or important to them.
- Every group member shares their chosen statement with the (small) group.
- The group should now brainstorm together on what is needed to make everyones statements easier in the future.
Step 4 (10-20 minutes)
- The whole team comes back together and everybody presents their chosen statement with the collective advice.
- All the chosen statements and their solutions can be written down (in short) so they are visible for everyone. (You can also keep the list and put it somewhere in the office as a reminder, if you like.)
Ending (5 minutes)
- Summarize the results.
- Highlight why it is important to reflect our own conflict behavior.
Example
“When dealing with conflicts we tend to focus a lot on our conflict partner. But to solve a conflict peacefully it is important to also reflect on our own conflict behavior, on how we react in conflict situations and what we contribute to find a good solution for everyone. We took some time to reflect on our own behavior in a conflict situation and we came up with strategies on how to work on the positive conflict behavior we still struggle with.”
